If I Can't Have It My Way...

Fuck this jerk.

The fucking Bush administration is at it again. They're going to block an anti-terrorism bill.

Why, you ask? Not tough enough? Leaves glaring holes that are easily exploited? Doesn't include a Cheney-prostate-massage provision?

No, no, and, thank god, no.

The Bush people and the craziest of the Republicans in the Senate don't like this bill because--get this--it includes a provision that will let airport screeners unionize.

The horror.

WASHINGTON - President Bush and his Senate allies will kill a Sept. 11 antiterror bill if Congress sends it to the White House with a provision to let airport screeners unionize, the White House and 36 Republicans said Tuesday.

"As the legislation currently stands, the president's senior advisers would recommend that he veto the bill," said White House spokesman Scott Stanzel.

Senate Republicans swiftly backed up the threat with a pledge by more than enough senators to block any veto override attempt.

"If the final bill contains such a provision, forcing you to veto it, we pledge to sustain your veto," they wrote to the president. Sen. Jim DeMint, R-S.C., planned to offer an amendment to strip the provision from the bill.

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said that allowing screeners to unionize would impede the department's quick response to possible threats. Fast redeployment of screeners, such as in response to Hurricane Rita and the failed London plot to blow up airliners, cannot wait for negotiations, he said.

Chertoff said screeners are as much on the front lines in the war against terror as military troops.

"Marines don't collectively bargain over whether they're going to wind up, you know, being deployed in Anbar province or in Baghdad," Chertoff told reporters after a briefing with senators. "We can't negotiate over terms and conditions of work that goes to the heart of our ability to move rapidly in order to deal with the threats that are emerging."

Other federal employees have collective bargaining and whistle-blower protection rights.

Chertoff's reasoning, according to the American Federation of Government Employees, is "an insult to the hundreds of thousands of dedicated public safety officers with collective bargaining rights — from border patrol agents to firefighters to the Capitol Hill police," said John Gage, president of the federation.

So can someone please talk about how Bush and the Republicans are "playing politics with national security"?

Not that, you know, I expect the elite press to be aware that this is actually happening. Republicans strong, Republicans manly, protect us, big daddy.

Also, and you didn't need me to tell you this, Jim DeMint and Michael Chertoff are world-class turds.

I Guess Every Little Bit Helps

How much proof do you need, bitch?

Yet another report on how bad global warming is for this little place called Earth. You may have heard of it.

Recent observations of the polar regions in 2006 have prompted alarm from experts that ice melting rates could be exceeding even IPCC projections.

The latest measurements show that Arctic sea-ice masses last year nearly matched lows recorded in 2005 and that for the first time re-freezing delayed until late autumn.

Unexpected breakage and movement of large pieces of Arctic coastal ice have also been reported as well as significant and surprising warming of ocean surface waters entering the Arctic from the North Atlantic.

Detailed observations of unpredicted networks of lakes and connection channels under the Antarctic ice sheet, and evidence of recent fast flows in some of those channels, have been published in the past few months, as have recent observations of unexpected discharge and depletion rates of some Greenland glaciers.

Dr Carlson added: “These and other changes in physical and ecological systems of polar regions, all observed over the past two years indicate a region undergoing rapid change and in need of comprehensive attention.”

In its report, IPCC Working Group I said that sea ice is projected to shrink in both Arctic and Antarctic regions and that large areas of the Arctic Ocean could lose year-round ice cover by the end of the 21st century if human emissions reach the higher end of current estimates.

The extent of Arctic sea ice has already shrunk by about 2.7% per decade since 1978, with the summer minimum declining by about 7.4% per decade according to the report.

Can we finally fucking do something about this already?

Because Wikipedia Was, Oddly Enough, Too Accurate

Too smart to write for Conservapedia.

That's right, kids. When reality gets you down, just create your own!

Check out Conservapedia, written by people who think "conservative" and "Christian" are synonyms. It's got some really amusing stuff. People who think, for example, that unicorns are (or were) real, 'cause the Bible tells them so.

It must be very comforting to be that gullible.

Also, Conservapedia is a haven for racist bullshit, but you probably could've guessed that on your own.

Yeah, yeah, everyone else was on this earlier, but I'm convalescing here. Give me a fuckin' break.

Weather
Jude

Ha ha. So clever.

Really, I'm not feeling so hot. I even missed Washington's Birthday yesterday.

As a late celebration of George's B-day, I resubmit the following entirely historical video representation of life of he who was First in War, First in Peace, and First Badass Motherfucking Citizen.

Busy Today

So go read other things. Sorry.

Here's a video for you.



It's Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, with DJ Melle Mel! Who could argue with that?

'Cause It's Not All Beads and Booze

Play it, young man.

If you haven't yet, please watch this movie.

It'll make you fuckin' weep to see it. Spike Lee's finest work, for true.

If You Go to New Orleans

You oughta go see the Mardi Gras.

Happy Mardi Gras, everybody!

Here's something else to love about the day:

Mmmm, mmm. King cake.

John McCain: Just Another Right-Wing Asshole

Behold my mighty neck wattle!

John McCain, the "maverick" Republican who makes his own way and values "straight talk," is now bending over backward for the All-Your-Uterus-Are-Belong-To-Us crowd.

That's right. He now thinks that Roe v. Wade should be overturned.

SPARTANBURG, S.C. - Republican presidential candidate John McCain (news, bio, voting record), looking to improve his standing with the party's conservative voters, said Sunday the court decision that legalized abortion should be overturned.

"I do not support Roe versus Wade. It should be overturned," the Arizona senator told about 800 people in South Carolina, one of the early voting states.

McCain also vowed that if elected, he would appoint judges who "strictly interpret the Constitution of the United States and do not legislate from the bench."

The landmark 1973 decision in Roe v. Wade gave women the right to choose an abortion to terminate a pregnancy. The Supreme Court has narrowly upheld the decision, with the presence of an increasing number of more conservative justices on the court raising the possibility that abortion rights would be limited.

Social conservatives are a critical voting bloc in the GOP presidential primaries.

McCain's campaign also announced early Sunday that he had been endorsed by former Oklahoma Gov. Frank Keating, who had been considering his own bid for the White House, and former Texas Sen. Phil Gramm, who failed in his bid for the Republican nomination in 1996.

Keating told the crowd that McCain is the "only candidate who is a true-blue, Ronald Reagan conservative."

McCain later attended an evening rally promoting an abstinence program. He told the crowd of more than 1,000 teens and parents that young people have pressures far different from the ones he faced while growing up. "Sometimes I've made the wrong choice," McCain said.

I like that he also made time for an absitenence-only "education" rally. In for a penny, in for a pound, huh?

I wonder if anyone will accuse McCain of "flip-flopping" on this issue. I mean, he said this in 1999:

"I'd love to see a point where it is irrelevant, and could be repealed because abortion is no longer necessary," McCain told the Chronicle in an article published Friday. "But certainly in the short term, or even the long term, I would not support repeal of Roe v. Wade, which would then force X number of women in America to [undergo] illegal and dangerous operations."

Wow. What a calculating, say-anything-to-get-elected panderer! I mean, does this guy actually have any moral center, or does he focus-group every speech before he gives it?

It took me about 20 seconds and this thing the kids call "Google" to find that eight-year-old statement of McCain's. I wonder how many reporters will bother to dig it up.

Here's today's question: If McCain didn't support a repeal of Roe v. Wade "in the short term, or even the long term," then what is eight years? A medium term?

At any rate, you've got your dueling McCain quotes right there, Democrats. Oh hell, you Republican primary contenders can use 'em too. I'm feeling generous.

McCain 1999: "[I]n the short term, or even the long term, I would not support repeal of Roe v. Wade."

McCain 2007: "I do not support Roe versus Wade. It should be overturned."

'Nuff said.

Stupid Shit Sunday

Oh no! A dumbass Texas legislator was right after all! Aieeeee!

Texas, which is competing with Florida for the title of Worst State Ever, gives us another reason to vote for the Lone Star And Extra Chromosome State in this year's balloting.

The reason has a name, and it's Warren Chisum. That's a hell of a manly name, for those of you who are fans of The Duke. But we're not talking about a wronged rancher. No, no. Today, we discuss a goddam idiot Texas State Legislator who is convinced that evolution is part of a rabbinic kabbala conspiracy to sap and impurify our precious bodily fluids (okay, I stole that last bit from Dr. Strangelove).

I promise you, I'm not making any of this up. Well, other than the bodily fluids part. Which probably isn't too far off the mark, though.

Check it out here. Here's a copy of the dickbag's memo (warning: PDF). Here's the site to which the memo refers (warning: will make you stupid). They are extremely proud of their idiocy:

The Earth is not rotating...nor is it going around the sun.

Those are their words. Not mine. Couldn't get much clearer than that, no?

Warren Chisum couldn't even come up with the memo himself. He took it (credited, though) from a Georgia state representative.

Wow. Copernicus and Darwin are part of a Jewish conspiracy to undermine the Old Testament...that was written by Jews.

Do they even bother to think this shit through?

In other stupid news, some librarians are up in arms because a children's book uses the word "scrotum."

The word “scrotum” does not often appear in polite conversation. Or children’s literature, for that matter.

Yet there it is on the first page of “The Higher Power of Lucky,” by Susan Patron, this year’s winner of the Newbery Medal, the most prestigious award in children’s literature. The book’s heroine, a scrappy 10-year-old orphan named Lucky Trimble, hears the word through a hole in a wall when another character says he saw a rattlesnake bite his dog, Roy, on the scrotum.

“Scrotum sounded to Lucky like something green that comes up when you have the flu and cough too much,” the book continues. “It sounded medical and secret, but also important.”

The inclusion of the word has shocked some school librarians, who have pledged to ban the book from elementary schools, and reopened the debate over what constitutes acceptable content in children’s books. The controversy was first reported by Publishers Weekly, a trade magazine.

On electronic mailing lists like Librarian.net, dozens of literary blogs and pages on the social-networking site LiveJournal, teachers, authors and school librarians took sides over the book. Librarians from all over the country, including Missoula, Mont.; upstate New York; Central Pennsylvania; and Portland, Ore., weighed in, questioning the role of the librarian when selecting — or censoring, some argued — literature for children.

“This book included what I call a Howard Stern-type shock treatment just to see how far they could push the envelope, but they didn’t have the children in mind,” Dana Nilsson, a teacher and librarian in Durango, Colo., wrote on LM_Net, a mailing list that reaches more than 16,000 school librarians. “How very sad.”

The book has already been banned from school libraries in a handful of states in the South, the West and the Northeast, and librarians in other schools have indicated in the online debate that they may well follow suit. Indeed, the topic has dominated the discussion among librarians since the book was shipped to schools.

--snip--

Ms. Patron, who is a public librarian in Los Angeles, said the book was written for children 9 to 12 years old. But some librarians countered that since the heroine of “The Higher Power of Lucky” is 10, children older than that would not be interested in reading it.

“I think it’s a good case of an author not realizing her audience,” said Frederick Muller, a librarian at Halsted Middle School in Newton, N.J. “If I were a third- or fourth-grade teacher, I wouldn’t want to have to explain that.”

Authors of children’s books sometimes sneak in a single touchy word or paragraph, leaving librarians to choose whether to ban an entire book over one offending phrase.

In the case of “Lucky,” some of them take no chances. Wendy Stoll, a librarian at Smyrna Elementary in Louisville, Ky., wrote on the LM_Net mailing list that she would not stock the book. Andrea Koch, the librarian at French Road Elementary School in Brighton, N.Y., said she anticipated angry calls from parents if she ordered it. “I don’t think our teachers, or myself, want to do that vocabulary lesson,” she said in an interview. One librarian who responded to Ms. Nilsson’s posting on LM_Net said only: “Sad to say, I didn’t order it for either of my schools, based on ‘the word.’ ”

Booksellers, too, are watchful for racy content in books they endorse to customers. Carol Chittenden, the owner of Eight Cousins, a bookstore in Falmouth, Mass., said she once horrified a customer with “The Adventures of Blue Avenger” by Norma Howe, a novel aimed at junior high school students. “I remember one time showing the book to a grandmother and enthusing about it,” she said. “There’s a chapter in there that’s very funny and the word ‘condom’ comes up. And of course, she opens the book right to the page that said ‘condom.’ ”

It is not the first time school librarians have squirmed at a book’s content, of course. Some school officials have tried to ban Harry Potter books from schools, saying that they implicitly endorse witchcraft and Satanism. Young adult books by Judy Blume, though decades old, are routinely kept out of school libraries.

Ms. Nilsson, reached at Sunnyside Elementary School in Durango, Colo., said she had heard from dozens of librarians who agreed with her stance. “I don’t want to start an issue about censorship,” she said. “But you won’t find men’s genitalia in quality literature.”

“At least not for children,” she added.

Scrotum. Inappropriate for children to know that word. Even the 50-or-so percent of children who have them.

In case you overlooked it early in that quote, this book won the Newbery Award.

And note all these chickenshit "teachers," who are dreadfully afraid to, you know, teach.

For Warren Chisum and these dipshit librarians, I offer a combination of their pet issues: A flattened scrotum:

Ow.

Sunday Dinner

Dat Food Network is de'pouille. Whens I watch dat, j'ai gros couer. I gon' get da voodoo lady t' put a gris-gris on dat Sandra Lee, for true!

So, do you think the Food Network has descended into suckitude?

If you do, you have company.

Via the News Blog, check out Anthony Bourdain's remarks about Food TV. That's some funny, funny shit, especially his dream Iron Chef America matchups.

Saturday Cartoons



"Baseball Bugs," from 1946.

This cartoon contains the following truly immortal snippet of dialogue: "Meh, watch me paste this pathetic palooka with a powerful, paralyzing, perfect pachydermous percussion pitch."

What more reason do you need to watch?

Friday Drinkin' Song



It's the Dubliners! With "The Wild Rover."

You know the words, now sing along.

Lots of News, Little of It Good

Iraq is a giant fucking death trap that's probably gonna get worse.

Insane people are trying to start a war with another country for no good goddamn reason.

Donald Rumsfeld has not, as yet, been remanded to the loving custody of the Federal Penitentiary system.

For some reason, these neoconservative cocksuckers still have influence in the world.

But hey, at least this moron's happy:

Lookit, ma. I outsmarted dis fish.

And some people still think we're the acme of creation.

Don't Let the Doorknob Hit Ya, Marty

This photo was taken last night in San Diego.

Jon, any thought on the exit of Marty Schottenheimer? I know you've got something to say. Spit it out.

Heh-Insaney

Glenn Reynolds could use an uppercut like this. It might knock some sense into the stupid bastard.

Glenn Reynolds: What a douchebag.

Whenever you think that Bush followers cannot get any more depraved in what they advocate, they always prove you wrong. This is what University of Tennessee Law Professor and right-wing blogger Glenn Reynolds said today about claims by the administration that Iran is supplying weapons to Iraqi insurgents (claims which, needless to say, he blindly believes):

This has been obvious for a long time anyway, and I don't understand why the Bush Administration has been so slow to respond. Nor do I think that high-profile diplomacy is an appropriate response. We should be responding quietly, killing radical mullahs and iranian atomic scientists, supporting the simmering insurgencies within Iran, putting the mullahs' expat business interests out of business, etc.

Basically, stepping on the Iranians' toes hard enough to make them reconsider their not-so-covert war against us in Iraq. And we should have been doing this since the summer 2003. But as far as I can tell, we've done nothing along these lines.

Just think about how extremist and deranged that is. We are not even at war with Iran. Congress has not declared war or authorized military force against that country. Yet Reynolds thinks that the Bush administration, unilaterally, should send people to murder Iranian scientists and religious leaders -- just pick out whichever ones we don't like and slaughter them. No charges. No trial. No accountability. Just roving death squads deployed and commanded by our Leader, slaughtering whomever he wants dead.

I like the use of "we" in Reynolds' statements. Like that dipshit has ever done anything but sit behind a desk and imagine he's playing fucking Risk. I also like how Greenwald tears him a new one.

And what is it with law professors and insanity? Is there some ritual lobotomization after you get tenure? Someone please explain this to me.

Darwin Day!

Happy Birthday, Chuck!

Make sure to celebrate Darwin's birthday today.

Read this.

Then go to a local pub and determine which of your brain cells are fit enough to survive. If you catch my drift.

Fucking Wal-Mart

Wal-Mart pharmacist Brent Beams, undated photo.

Christ. Like you didn't have enough reasons to avoid Wal-Mart already.

This month, Tashina Byrd, her boyfriend and her 4-year-old son headed to a Springfield Wal-Mart to pick up some things, including Plan B.

Byrd, 23, of Springfield, and her boyfriend, Brian O’Neill, 37, of Columbus, said a condom broke.

When the pharmacy attendant asked pharmacist Brent Beams about it, "He shook his head and laughed," Byrd said.

The attendant told them the store had Plan B but that nobody would give it to them, the couple said.

They asked for a store manager, who "came over and said, ‘The pharmacist has the law on his side,’ " O’Neill said.

A CVS pharmacist in Springfield later fulfilled the couple’s request, and Byrd took the first of two pills within 12 hours of the contraceptive mishap.

Reached last week at the pharmacy, Beams explained his position: "I believe in preserving life, and I do not believe in ending life, and life begins at conception."

I'm pretty sick of hearing about these poor, put-upon pharmacists who are simply standing up for the things they believe in, and how no one should force them to, you know, do their fucking jobs.

If you want a job where you never have to dispense a prescription with which you disagree, don't fucking become a pharmacist.

It's pretty simple. It's not like you're faced with a choice of either starving to death ('cause a pharmacy job is all that's available) or dealing with serious moral quandaries daily. The median income for a pharmacist in the US is just over $100,000 per year these days. The median personal income for everyone over age 25? Just over $32,000 per year.

So these douchebags can pack sand. Fuck 'em. They don't wanna fill prescriptions? They can make less money. Isn't holy poverty something to which to aspire, anyway? And isn't greed a sin?

Saturday Cartoon



"One Froggy Evening," one of my favorites, not the least because no one has any lines but the frog.

Overcoming the Lure of the Penis

Don't get hooked!

Hot on the heels of the dick-smoking, meth-snorting, hooker-humping Reverend Ted Haggard reporting that he's been "cured" of his lust for man-meat, Catherine Fenton wonders if she, too, can be weaned off wieners.

Boy, was I glad to hear that Ted Haggard was pronounced "cured" of his penis penchant after only three weeks of intensive counseling. You have no idea how much hope that gave to this girl. Like many women, I too have struggled to rid myself of the lure of the penis. Now, I don't know if this is just a rumor (you know how the internets can be) but I have heard that Ted is writing a book. It's going to be entitled "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Pussy." As soon as it's listed on Amazon, I'll be pre-ordering it.

Listen, I've tried everything. I've been on the patch, I've chewed gum, I've tried to keep my hands busy with other things. And sure, those things helped with the cravings, but I always end up backsliding. "Oh, just this one penis," I'd tell myself, "then I'll stop for good." But it's time for me to face facts. A penis is like a potato chip...they're salty, they leave you with heartburn, and you never stop at just one.

I've emailed the National Association of Evangelicals requesting Ted's email address. I told them that I was very impressed with his rehabilitation, and I'd like some tips from him. So far, I haven't received an answer. You can find various email addresses for the NAE here:

http://www.nae.net/index.cfm?FUSEACTION=nae.contact [1]

I'll bet if they get a lot of requests for Ted's help in curing the desire for penises, they might set up a whole website devoted to it. And hey, they've done some good work with Ted, they should be congratulated for it, so don't forget to send a little praise their way. Just let them know that you've been living a life of sin, but you are ready to give up penises forever, and would like to learn how to love only women, the way Ted has. They don't mind if you're a woman who wants to learn how to be attracted to other women. I'm pretty sure of this, because they all voted for Dick Cheney, whose daughter is a pregnant lesbian and whose wife wrote a steamy lesbian romance. I mean, I didn't ask them, I just assumed it. Well, let's see what they say. I could be wrong about this. I hope I'm not. That would mean that all of the time I've spent trying to cure myself by looking at pictures of hot women on the Entertainment Tonight website were a total waste.

Also, ask them when you will be getting your Ted Haggard autographed "Prayer Helped me to Love Pussy" t-shirt. It has a picture of Ted and a little kitten on it. So, you can also wear it to church, because you know...kittens. Everyone loves a kitten.

Catherine Fenton
New York, NY

Damn, this is funny. We needed something like this for a Friday.

Prayer Helped Me to Love Pussy.

Well, prayer and the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I couldn't do it without His Noodly Appendage. Which is not at all penile. Shame on you for even thinking such a thing.

Music by which to Ponder Today's News



And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda.

Make sure you check out this story in the LA Times, too.

John Edwards Tries to Un-fuck Himself

You had best square your ass away, Edwards, or I will fuck your shit up.

So it looks like I was a little hasty with my "Fuck John Edwards" post.

He still shouldn't make Marcotte & McEwan apologize. But at least he didn't completely grab ankle for Malkin and Donohue.

So, it seems, Mr. Edwards deserves something of an apology from me. Instead, though, I'll offer advice ('cause you know John Edwards spends his days reading Punch & Jude): John, find your fucking spine. Don't cave to the bullshit machine again. Don't even think about it.

Fuck John Edwards

What does "dumb fuck" mean?

It means John Edwards and his campaign.

And fuck Bill Donohue, and fuck Michelle Malkin.

Edwards, you know better than to give an inch to these cocksuckers. Here's hoping you join Joe Biden on the sidelines on this one. We need fighters, not people who will curl up in a ball and beg the right-wing douchebags not to hit us.

You dumb fuck.

UPDATE: Digby, of course, has much more and much better stuff about the same topic. For the best rundown, please see Glenn Greenwald.

Makes Perfect Sense

Ted Haggard is "completely heterosexual." And I just won the Super Bowl...

...in Bizarro World.

What the fuck is it with these crazy Christians?

DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is "completely heterosexual."

Haggard also said his sexual contact with men was limited to the former male prostitute who came forward with sexual allegations, the Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur told The Denver Post for a story in Tuesday's edition.

"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."

Ralph said the board spoke with people close to Haggard while investigating his claim that his only extramarital sexual contact happened with Mike Jones. The board found no evidence to the contrary.

"If we're going to be proved wrong, somebody else is going to come forward, and that usually happens really quickly," he said. "We're into this thing over 90 days and it hasn't happened."

Haggard resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals last year after allegations of sexual misconduct surfaced. He was also forced out from the 14,000 New Life Church that he founded years ago in his basement after Jones alleged Haggard paid him for sex and sometimes used methamphetamine when they were together. Haggard, who is married, has publicly admitted to "sexual immorality."

So let me get this straight (ha ha!)--you can see a prostitute for three years, but it doesn't matter, because he was the only guy you ever fucked? So how many men would he have to boink before he was completely gay? Or is it a gradual process of gayification? This shit confuses me.

Here's a better article, one that could have been written by the Reverend Haggard himself.

In Which I Make My Mother Proud

You know the Bible 100%!

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes

I'm kind of ashamed of this, really.

Thanks to my crazy combination of Catholic & Baptist upbringings, no doubt.

I cribbed this from Jeremy, and, to further steal ideas from him, I'm gonna talk about the parable I never understood.

I never really got the Parable of the Talents. It always seemed very cruel. What if the guy who only got one talent had lost it? What then would have been his reward? He started with the least, and was punished for safeguarding what little he had. This story is the cruelest combination of religion and capitalism I could ever imagine.

Until Benny Hinn came along, that is.

Global Warming Explained!

Maybe now Bush will think it's real.

From Defective Yeti, thanks to Donnie.

This Just In

I know other people have covered the Great Mooninite Invasion of 2007 in all its wonderful detail, but I thought this article was worth looking at.

Quality journalism, for true.

You can find a larger version here.

Presented for Your Consideration

Awww.

Think warm thoughts.

Fuck Matt Lauer

Matt Lauer, undated publicity photo.

John Edwards graced the Today show with his presence this morning. And Matt Lauer got to play journalist! Check out the interview (It starts about eight-and-a-half minutes in).

The whole thing is shitty, but, at about 12:25, Lauer asks Edwards to respond to an RNC memo.

What the fuck? Why should he have to address RNC talking points? Why not do a little research and see for yourself whether or not their claims are accurate?

Why not? Oh, that's right.

Because Matt Lauer is a tool.


Updated to fix link and time.

This Shit Ain't Right

Pretty accurate.

I'd have something more, but my goddamn brain is frozen.

God damn, it's cold.

The Man Returns

One more time.

Holy crap. The Sun-Herald actually got a scoop.

Come on, Brett. One more magical year.


Oh, and fuck Dan Marino.

Just Because

Free Shit

Even this cheap bastard would like today's link.

Check out Pandora, the Music Genome Project. It's neat, and it's free!

Thanks to Megan for some more Internet crack.