Darwin Day

It's a celebration, bitches!

Everybody wish the original Chuck D there a happy birthday. He'd be 199 today.

You can look here, here, here, and especially here for more interesting things about Darwin's continuing influence.

Also, I believe it's Abraham Lincoln's birthday. He's known for being the only right-facing president on US coinage. Among other things.

Happy Mardi Gras!

Throw me somethin', mista!

It's time once again for the best holiday of the year. So have a happy Mardi Gras, everybody! Enjoy the music, especially the clip of Fats Domino, Jerry Lee Lewis, AND Ray Charles all sharing the same stage.











Oh, I also understand there's some sort of political event going on today.

C'est Si Bon



Happy New Year, everyone. Thanks for stopping by from time to time throughout 2007. Enjoy your celebrations, and stay safe.

Merry Xmas

Hey hey, everyone. Sorry for the light posting of late. I've been busy, and Jon's a slug. Anyway, on this joyous day, remember: Thanks to the birth of Our Lord and Savior, you always have an argument against abstinence-only education.

Nothin' like blasphemy on a holiday.

Labor Day

Legless former coal miner

It's Labor Day. Enjoy, everyone.

Labor Day is one of those holidays that never seems to invite reflection on the meaning of why we have it. It is, for the United States, a strange holiday indeed. Honoring workers and unions is on the list of things to do right after dismantling the military-industrial complex and instituting a Free Puppies For All program. But take a little time to think about why we take the day off today; why the 40-hour week is standard; why we have weekends, vacations, somewhat decent wages, and other things that piss off the rich folks but make life enjoyable for the rest of us. Granted, we lag far behind the rest of the industrialized world in giving workers a fair shake, but labor movements gave us the amenities we do have (not, of course, without a lot of hard work, struggle, and bloodshed).

Every Memorial Day, we are instructed to thank a veteran or current service member for what they have done for us. Today, thank a worker for making society run. The sacrifices of all of us who labor are forever overlooked.

Happy Bastille Day

Allons enfants de la Patrie,
Le jour de gloire est arrivé!

Go have some wine and cheese, then storm a tower or two.

Vous bâtards.

Happy Pagan Rebirth Celebration

And on the third day, Zombie Jesus hatched from the Cadbury Egg...

Have a good holiday, everyone.

Some Days, I Wish I Had Cable

Really, only on Easter weekend. Why? Because, every year, ABC shows what may be the worst movie ever made.

Funny--I thought ham was trayf.

Dear lord, The Ten Commandments is a horrible, horrible movie. What the hell was Edward G. Robinson doing in this POS? Did he need the money that badly?

Yes, I'm giving Yul Brynner a pass. DeMille's movie was only his second starring role.

If You Go to New Orleans

You oughta go see the Mardi Gras.

Happy Mardi Gras, everybody!

Here's something else to love about the day:

Mmmm, mmm. King cake.

Darwin Day!

Happy Birthday, Chuck!

Make sure to celebrate Darwin's birthday today.

Read this.

Then go to a local pub and determine which of your brain cells are fit enough to survive. If you catch my drift.

Another Holiday Weekend

Damn straight.

Enjoy the New Year, everyone.

Just remember--vitamins and water help alleviate the hangover, if the vitamins are taken in advance and the water is consumed during the evening (interspersed with much booze, of course).

Have a great weekend!

Merry Christmas

Happy holidays to everyone from both of us here at Punch & Jude.

Have a great weekend, and enjoy yourselves.

You've Been Naughty

Ho ho ho, motherfucker.

Oddly enough, this story doesn't come from Florida.

Child Arrested After Opening Holiday Gift Early

What is the penalty for opening your Christmas presents too early?

For one South Carolina 12-year-old, the penalty was arrest.

A Rock Hill, S.C., woman called police and asked them to arrest her son who opened a Christmas present early after being told not to, the Rock Hill Herald reported. Police went to the house and arrested the boy and charged him with petty larceny.

The paper reported that the boy's great-grandmother had specifically told him not to open his present, which contained a Nintendo Game Boy Advance. It was wrapped and lying under the Christmas tree, the police report stated.

But on Sunday morning, the gift was unwrapped and the box was empty. So when the boy's mother found out, she alerted police, the paper reported.

"He took it without permission. He wanted it. He just took it," the 63-year-old great-grandmother told the Herald.

The women said that the boy lied to them at first, saying he was unaware of where the video game system was. After threat of calling the police, the boy apparently gave the toy back to his mother, the paper reported. But the upset mother called police anyway.

Two officers responded and charged the child as a juvenile with petty larceny, although he was not jailed.

The mother told the Herald that she didn't know what else to do with her son, so she called police. The paper reported she is a single mother and has been struggling with constant behavior problems from the boy. She said her son still showed no remorse when the police came.

"I'm trying to get him some kind of help," the 27-year-old mother told the paper. "He's the type of kid who doesn't believe anything until it happens."

She said he has shoplifted, stolen money from her, punched a police officer and is nearing expulsion from school. She told the paper that she hopes this arrest will be a wake-up call for her son, because she worries about getting a call someday telling her he's been killed.

The mother plans to have her son placed with the state Department of Juvenile Justice in Columbia at his court appearance, the Herald reported.

For the record, South Carolina's really fucked up, too.

Did you notice this? "...the 63-year-old great-grandmother..."

That's right. A 63-year-old great-grandmother. Of a twelve-year-old. Jeezus.

Also, if the kid is such a li'l bastard, why get him a goddamn personal video game system? I'll bet there are some happy goddam holidays around that house.

Thanks to Errol for this jacked-up-ass story.

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope you've got one of these coming your way.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Enjoy this most American of holidays, and do take time to reflect on for what you should be grateful. We've all got tons of things, circumstances, and people in our lives that should make us thankful and humble daily. Spend a little extra time savoring them today.

That, and pecan pie.

Notable Birthdays

Oooooh. Fancy.

The list of people born on 6 September includes:

the Marquis de Lafayette, who soldiered with Washington in the American Revolution;

John Dalton, famous chemist;

Jane Addams, feminist, pacifist, and humanist;

Joseph Kennedy, profiteer and patriarch;

Jane Curtin, actress and comedienne;

Keone Young, actor (plays Mr. Wu on Deadwood);

and, most importantly, Bethel Sharma, soon-to-be famous chemist and absolutely wonderful human being.

That's right. It's Bethel's birthday. Wish her a happy one, or I'll have the voodoo lady put a gris-gris on your ass. And that, you don't want.

Independence Day Goodness

Tomorrow is the Fourth of July. On this, our country's birthday, we should take time to reflect on the man who was "First in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen."

Thanks to Errol, we have for you this entirely accurate account of the life of George Washington.


Enjoy!

While We're Noting Memorable Days

Happy birthday, Marisa!

Happy Birthday to Her

Yes, it's Brenda's birthday!



Everyone wish her well. And good luck with her job search. If you don't, I'll send an asshole with a snake to your house to take you for a ride.

Pretty Picture


Isn't she lovely?

And she's got a birthday coming up. Happy birthday, my friend.

Spread This Idea Around

Okay, everyone. Mardi Gras is coming soon (28 February). If you can't throw down on a Tuesday, consider having a get-together some time before (hell, even after, if you don't care about Lent) Tuesday. Kegger, barbecue, wine-and-cheese, pokerfest, whatever--just have some sort of social event for the Carnival season. Call it, say, a Party Gras.

At your Party Gras, have a donation jar out in a prominent location. You might even want to encourage people to chip in. And then send the money to a Katrina Relief fund.

The Red Cross isn't taking money for this endeavor anymore--they say they've raised enough. However, there are plenty of other organizations that need the money to help our brothers and sisters in Louisiana and Mississippi. So chip in. And have a party while you do it. Your fellow citizens will thank you, but your liver might not.

Here are some useful links:

Funds

• Bush-Clinton Katrina Fund
• Louisiana Disaster Recovery Foundation
  
• Mississippi Hurricane Recovery Fund
  

Humanitarian Organizations

• Habitat for Humanity MS Gulf Coast and New Orleans
  
• Network for Good
• National Voluntary Organizations Active in Disaster

Go do some good.