Important Health News for the Weekend

This might very well save your life.

That's right. Those fruity drinks you can't have in front of your friends? They're good for you. Huzzah for science!

Phrase of the Day

I'm Bacchus, and I approve this product.

"A greater range of drinking opportunities."

Pre-glassed wine. It's pretty amazing, really. We as humans can use our ingenuity to further some astonishingly lazy ends.

The Best Thing You Will See All Day

Looks like they're gonna get hammered. (Rimshot)

Thanks to the omniscience of Errol, I direct you to the Kegulator.

For those of you in college, this will answer most of the questions you'll have during your stay in higher education.

For the rest of you, this should also help when planning weddings, St. Patrick's Day festivities, family reunions, and the rest of your life.

Enjoy!

Friday Drinkin' Song



It's the Dubliners! With "The Wild Rover."

You know the words, now sing along.

Another Holiday Weekend

Damn straight.

Enjoy the New Year, everyone.

Just remember--vitamins and water help alleviate the hangover, if the vitamins are taken in advance and the water is consumed during the evening (interspersed with much booze, of course).

Have a great weekend!

Friday Afternoon

It's waiting for you.

I like to have a beer on Friday after work. What about you?

Oh, and Jon sucks at fake football. Just so you know.

Setting Things Straight

The promised land

I have been remiss here at Punch and Jude. For several years now, I've been enjoying it, but I haven't publicly mentioned the best bar in the universe.

That bar is, of course, the Echo Tap.

If you like bars, and you haven't been to the Echo Tap, then you really need to get off your ass and correct that situation. Soon. You can stay with me. I live just around the corner.

Thursday Nights

Oh, sweet Echo Tap.

Save some $1.25 pints for me tonight.

Drunk as a Monkey

Wow. Drunken monkeys. And I always thought it was just a saying (or a variant on the monkey style of kung fu--seriously). It turns out that, in Budapest, the apes* really do get wine. Why would you give them wine? Apparently, it helps boost their red blood cell counts.

The zookeepers don't give them a lot--just a bit at a time, mixed in with their tea.

So you've got alcohol and caffeine in your gorillas. When do you just move right on to weed?

*Note to all persnickety types out there: Yes, I know that apes aren't monkeys. Shut up and live with the pretty language.

The Latest Weapon in the War on Crime

Beer.

That's right. Beer.

A store clerk in Knoxville, TN, clocked a robber upside the head with a six-pack of Bud Light that the would-be thief was trying to gank. The sad-ass excuse for a criminal then ran off.

Well, at least Bud Light is useful for something. You certainly can't drink that shit.

So That The Torch Of Liberty May Get You Torched

What would election night be without a drinking game?

Here's one courtesy of our good friend Errol.

You know you want to do it. Hell, you're probably drunk right now. So here's just another reason--the results of the election should, if you are a regular reader here, make you either very happy or extremely sad. And, whether it be joyous or sorrowful, every occasion is made better by our good friend CH3-CH2-OH.

That's right. Have you forgotten what your friend looks like? Here's a quick sketch:


What, you want a full color look? Okay.


Cute little guy, isn't he?

How about we look at our friend in his finest evening wear?


That's one nice tuxedo, Mr. Ethanol.

I know that there will be people around with their "alcohol is bad for you" bullshit, but hey--you're not going to let those fuckin' killjoys spoil election night, are you?

You know who doesn't like alcohol? Islamic extremists, that's who.

I'm sure you see where this is going.

If you don't get blotto on election night, then aren't you letting the terrorists win?