Asshole of the Day: Joe Biden

Joe Biden enjoying a smoke.

Fucking Joe Biden. Now you know why he was plagiarizing other people's speeches. It's because when he uses his words, he sounds like a goddam CCC member from 1964 Mississippi. Here he is talking about Barack Obama:

“I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."

I guess we should be happy that Biden didn't say that Obama is "a credit to his race."

I guess there haven't been any other mainstream African-Americans who are clean, or articulate, or "nice-looking," whatever the fuck that means.

Not at all.

Nope, can't think of a single African American from any prior time in American history who meets Joe Biden's criteria.

Of course, I can't end this photo display without this:

Not at all.

A special bonus Punch & Jude hug and kiss to anyone who can correctly name all of the above people. I don't have any kewpie dolls, or I'd promise one of those.

Florida to Rape Victim: Drop Dead!

They give one of these to every rape victim in Tampa, Florida.

Seriously. What the fuck?

Police jail rape victim for two days

TAMPA - First, police say, a 21-year-old woman was raped at Gasparilla. Then, she was handcuffed and jailed - for two nights and two days.

A jail worker with religious objections blocked her from ingesting a morning-after pill to prevent pregnancy, her attorney says, keeping her from taking the required second dose for more than 24 hours longer than recommended.

The Hillsborough Sheriff's Office wouldn't talk about her medical treatment in jail. But Tampa police are investigating why more compassion wasn't shown toward the woman after she reported her sexual assault to law enforcement.

"We may need to revisit our policy," police spokeswoman Laura McElroy said.

The premedical student attended Saturday's Gasparilla parade and veered off from her friends shortly before 1:30 p.m., police said. The Times is not naming her because police say she is a victim of a sexual crime.

As she walked north on Howard Avenue at Swann Avenue, she was grabbed by a man with crooked teeth and raped behind a building, McElroy said.

After the assault, the man ran off. The woman walked to her car, which was parked on the University of Tampa campus. At 3:40 p.m., after finding her vehicle, she called police.

As police assisted her, taking her to a nurse examiner's clinic, and processing her report, an officer found two outstanding warrants for the woman in Sarasota County.

Attorney Virlyn "Vic" Moore III of Venice said his client was seated in the front seat of the police cruiser, on her way to the scene of her attack when the officer learned of the warrant, cuffed her and placed her in the back seat.

"To stop the rape investigation and instead victimize her again," Moore said. "I'm aghast, astonished and outraged. I have never, ever heard of this happening."

The officer arrested the woman at a sergeant's instruction, McElroy said.

The student had failed to pay $4,585 restitution after a 2003 juvenile arrest, McElroy said. Moore said his client is convinced that she paid the fine and that the warrant was probably the result of a clerical error.

The judge set no bail.

"As soon as the chief's office found out about it Monday, detectives were assigned to get her out of jail," McElroy said. "Obviously, we're very concerned about this young woman."

Jail records show the woman was booked about eight hours after the reported rape.

A doctor had given her Plan B, the so-called "morning-after pill" approved by the FDA, to prevent pregnancy. But Moore said a medical supervisor at the jail refused to let her take the second of the two pills on Sunday.

For the emergency contraceptive to work, the first pill must be taken within three days of unprotected sex and the second 12 hours after the first. The woman had already taken the first pill soon after the assault Saturday, Moore said. She was unable to take the second pill until Monday afternoon. The jail allowed it, he said, after media inquiries.

Debbie Carter, a spokeswoman for the Sheriff's Office, which runs the jail, said she couldn't comment on the situation because medical information is private. But she said medical service policies are set by Armor Correctional Health Services, which contracts with the jail.

Armor's corporate offices were closed late Monday when the St. Petersburg Times tried to reach a spokesperson.

Police administrators learned about the woman's arrest Monday, McElroy said.

Moore worked with police to petition the court to reinstate the woman's bail so she could be freed. Jail records indicate the woman was released Monday at 5 p.m. Hillsborough Circuit Judge Walter Heinrich ordered the change in bail.

If the warrants had been for misdemeanors, the woman would not have been jailed, under a TPD policy enacted in 2002.

But she faced felony charges for failing to pay restitution, McElroy said.

"But we always have to balance that with compassion for the victim," McElroy said

From the local Fox News report:

"The medical supervisor would not allow her to take the pill because she said it was against her, the supervisor's, religion. So, here we have a medical supervisor imposing her beliefs on a rape victim," claimed the victim's attorney Virlyn Moore. "As a human being, how someone could be so violated by this monster and then the system comes along and rapes her again psychologically and emotionally - it's outrageous and unconscionable."

The jail supervisor needs to be fired. Right now. Would you keep a Christian Scientist (who wouldn't administer any other kind of medicine to people in jail) on the payroll?

Fuck no.

Fire that asshole. Today.

Then make some serious changes in how you run shit, TPD.

Oh, and let's remove Florida from the Union, while we're at it.

Sloppy Cronkite



And that's the way it was.

Ha ha ha ha!

More Stellar Work from the Paper of Record

John Tierney's entire library.

Really, New York Times. You can, and should, do better than this crap.

Tierney writing about science is as bad as, well, Easterbrook writing about science. And that's pretty goddamn bad. Way to obfuscate, misrepresent, and just generally be a wad of fuck.

A Simple Post

Evolution in action, cetacean-style.

A child with measles, a disease easily preventable by vaccination. Without treatment, measles can be deadly. However, a parental refusal of the vaccine, for whatever reason, is NOT an example of evolution. Ask a biologist if you don't believe me.

It seems that a Muslim doctor is urging British Muslims to forego vaccinating their children against childhood diseases--he claims that the animal-tissue derivatives in the solutions violate the dictates of the Koran. I disagree with this analysis, as I do the thoughts of Christian Scientists or Scientologists--or with Evangelical Christians who dismiss the HPV vaccine. (Because it might lead to immorality, you see. Better to punish sex with death than to oh, I don't know, protect life, I guess.) Glenn Reynolds, that bastion of clear-thinking libertarianism, weighs in and shows his ignorance and racism yet again. I direct you to Glenn Greenwald, who bitch-slaps Reynolds here.

Idiot in action.

Save us from these morons. How do they end up teaching law?

Your Daily "What the Fuck?"



That's right. This is some creepy shit.

Is Our President Learnin'?

Presidentin' sure is hard work. Learnin', too.

It looks like someone got a grammar lesson!

WASHINGTON
President Bush, on a collision course with Congress over Iraq, said Friday "I'm the decision-maker" about sending more troops to the war. He challenged skeptical lawmakers not to prematurely condemn his buildup.

Does that mean he's not gonna claim to be The Decider no more?

That's a shame.

Sweet Jesus

Six, this is point. Sir, this is fucked.

From Editor & Publisher:

AP Disputes Military Claims on Deaths of Americans in Iraq

BAGHDAD Contrary to U.S. military statements, four U.S. soldiers did not die repelling a sneak attack at the governor's office in the Shiite holy city of Karbala last week. New information obtained by The Associated Press shows they were abducted and found dead or dying as far as 25 miles away.

The brazen assault 50 miles south of Baghdad was launched Jan. 20 by a group of nine to 12 militants. They traveled in black GMC Suburban vehicles - the type used by U.S. government convoys, had American weapons, wore new U.S. military combat fatigues and spoke English.

In a written statement, the U.S. command reported at the time that five soldiers were killed while "repelling the attack." Two senior U.S. military officials as well as Iraqi officials now say three of them were found dead and one mortally wounded in locations as far as 25 miles east of the governor's office.

The U.S. officials said they could not be sure if the soldiers were killed as the attackers drove them to the place where they abandoned the Suburbans or afterward. Iraqi officials said the men were killed just before the vehicles were abandoned.

The daring commando team also took an unclassified U.S. computer with them as they fled with the four soldiers and left behind an American M-4 automatic rifle, senior U.S. military officials said.

The new information has emerged after nearly a week of inquiries. The U.S. military in Baghdad repeatedly declined comment on reports that began emerging from Iraqi government and military officials which suggested a major breakdown in security at Karbala site.

The two senior American military officials now confirm the reports, gathered by The Associated Press from five senior Iraqi government, military and religious leaders. The U.S. military also has provided additional details from internal military accounts.

None of the American or Iraqi officials would allow use of their names because of the sensitive nature of the information.

The U.S. officials, who had seen incident reports of the assault, said the documents indicated two of the soldiers were found in one of the Suburbans at one location and two others in a second Suburban elsewhere. The exact locations were not specified, they said.

The five Americans killed that day ranged in age from 20 to 31.

Bring 'em home.

Bring 'em home now.

This is fucked. Fucked in so many ways. And it's only going to get worse, until Bush is no longer in the White House.

Something That Doesn't Suck

It extends to Wisconsin, too.

After that bullshit about the douchebag Bears fan, I thought I'd put something up that wasn't horrible.

Check it:

NEW ORLEANS -- When it was finally over, a woman walked down Hillary Street and she cried. Her makeup was gone. Her eyes were red and puffy. A few blocks away, a lifelong Saints fan named Stan Gelpi looked up from his empty glass of beer at a stunned Uptown bar. An hour earlier, he'd been plotting a trip to the Super Bowl. Now, he was lost.

Then it hit him, like it hit thousands around this heartbroken town.

"I'm going to the airport," he announced. "They brought hope to this city when nobody else could. The mayor sucks. The governor sucks. The legislature sucks. The president sucks. The only thing that doesn't suck is that team. They brought hope to this city, and I'm going to the airport."

Men, women and children poured out of bars and houses, from Uptown to the Quarter, from New Orleans East to Metairie, and they piled into their cars. Only this time they weren't evacuating. They were going to meet their team. Some stopped at drugstores and made signs. They wrote "Thanks for an awesome season" and "We Believe" and, simply, "Bless you boys."

So much in professional sports is canned, and this was something real, something spontaneous and pure. Through a neighborhood they drove, down a winding, dark road to a private terminal where the team's charter would land. Cars parked, one after another, the headlights looking like that scene from "Field of Dreams." Fans brought coolers and bottles of wine, standing in the pouring rain, giving something back to the team that gave them so much.

"Two miles, 'til the end of the road, it's bumper to bumper," said Saints fan Colin Ross, pointing at the people lining up near the runway. "There's little kids down there yelling 'Who Dat?' on the hoods of cars."

Heartwarming, no?

I liked it.

I Was Wrong

Because there's never a shortage of assholery in the world:

This asshole needs to be beaten with a spiked bat.

Found, along with story, at First Draft.

Great Moments in Assholery

Today's Supreme Assholery comes not from Florida, as you've come to expect, but from Texas.

Well, they do say that everything is bigger in Texas, and these are some of the biggest assholes I've ever seen. What happened? Check it out:

Outrage Over Texas College MLK Day Party

Event featured Aunt Jemima, gang apparel, fried chicken, malt liquor

JANUARY 25--Students at a Texas college threw a Martin Luther King Jr. Day party that featured attendees wearing gang apparel and Afro wigs, carrying malt liquor, handguns, and fried chicken, and even one woman dressed as Aunt Jemima. Photos of the January 15 event were discovered on a Facebook.com page by a Tarleton State University sophomore who heads the school's NAACP chapter. A selection of party photos can be found on the following pages. When he discovered the images, Donald Ray Elder told TSG, he sent an e-mail to Tarleton student Jeremy Pelz, on whose Facebook page the photos were placed in a folder titled "MLK." In a reply e-mail, Pelz told Elder that he would rename the folder in which the photos were placed "so it does not bring any disrespect to Mr. King." Pelz noted that the party was started a few years earlier "because one of best friends is black or African American, whichever you deem politically correct, to be his day not to dishonor him." He added, "So I do apologize if you felt any disrespect because none was intended." School officials have launched an investigation into the party and the university's president, Dennis P. McCabe, has denounced the photos as despicable. In a subsequent post, Pelz--who has yanked the party photos from his Facebook page--stated that the party was not meant to be "racist or discriminating."

These are your leaders of tomorrow, folks. Honoring Martin Luther King by rejoicing in racist-ass stereotypes. It's gonna be a great future.

Stupid asshole in need of a beating.

That's right. His t-shirt says "I love Chicken."

And that's all the assholery I can stand today.

We Are Back

Where have we been?

Maybe this will answer your question:

Yeah, something like that.

But we're back in the saddle again. So look out, world.