Monday, October 22, 2007

Scratch Your Temple

Can you figure it out? I can't.

Dear Pennsylvania-based professional football head coaches, defensive coordinators, and teams:

The game is 60 minutes long. Please take note.

Thank you.

Seriously, Philadelphia. You let the Bears--the Bears!--drive 97 yards in 1:40 with no timeouts, and you give up the game-winning touchdown playing a soft defense? When they got down to your 15-yard-line, Andy Reid, and they stopped the clock by going out of bounds, why didn't you call a timeout? You had two left. The game clock wasn't going to start running again. Your defense was on its heels and needed a breather and a plan. You, however, let the Bears control the speed of the game, and they beat you. In your house. That fumble that was ruled a false start, though, wasn't your fault. That's a dumb-ass rule. Dumb-ass rules notwithstanding, you lost a game you should have won.

And you, Pittsburgh Steelers, you of the vaunted defense. You let a great fourth-quarter comeback count for nothing. You also let the Broncos score more points than they have all season. They scored eight fewer points against the Raiders, fergawdsakes. You gave up a 49-yard drive in the final 1:10, including an inexcusably stupid offsides penalty that gave Denver and extra five yards and, in effect, another timeout. Granted, you wouldn't have been guaranteed a win, but a chance in overtime is better than no chance as time expires.

Sweet jeebus, Eagles and Steelers. Rush three, drop eight. You know they're gonna pass. Maybe you can get a coverage sack. And, for the love of gnutella, can you jam their fucking receivers at the line? It's legal, you know, and it kind of disrupts their routes.

On a final football note--great job, Reggie Bush. You bulled through two dudes to get a touchdown when you really needed one. Outstanding play.

In baseball news, the Red Sox are headed to the World Series again. Let's hope they do as well as the last time they played for the MLB championship.

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