Let's Mock Donald Rumsfeld

I was thinking about Rummy today, and that just makes me mad. He's such a tool. I mean, he's enamored of the "Revolution in Military Affairs," which is a desk nerd's wet dream--it ignores the reality of warfare, and proposes high-tech (and very expensive, contractor-friendly) solutions when what the military needs is more goddamn grunts. He's said dumb shit like "You go to war with the army you have. They're not the Army you might want or wish to have at a later time." He also knew where Saddam's weapons of mass destruction were before the war: "We know where they are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat." You know, that area includes the entire earth.

So, instead of getting mad, I'm just going to make fun of him today. With pictures. Some real, some altered. They're all funny.

Ahh, the good old days.

Old friends.

Here's Rummy with some recruits for his fantasy army:

See? What a tool. Flexing with Captain America.

Who knew the RMA included the Super Soldier formula?

Unfortunately for Rummy, that's not Spider-Man.

It's Spider-Hitler! Noooooooo!

But never fear. Rummy has nothing to worry about from Spider-Hitler.

He will destroy him with his Cobra Style. Rummy is a Shaolin monk, fool! This ain't Channel 5, bitches!

Rumsfeld's not one-dimensional, though.

Check out DJ Rummy on the wheels of steel.

Finally, we note that, despite his busy days of wrecking the military and alienating the world, it's heartwarming to note that Rummy finds time for love.

This goddamn picture always makes me laugh.

I hope you've all enjoyed this. Could you spot the altered photos? Ha! Gotcha! They're all 100% real. I swear.

Oh, and Image Shack? You kick ass.