Watch Out for the Rattlesnake, Motherfucker!

I haven't said anything about it--mostly because I feel that anything so manifestly wonderful doesn't need any of my rather poor attempts at boosterism--but this is too wonderful not to share.

In case you weren't aware, the Greatest Movie Ever Made will soon be in theaters.

What movie is that, you may ask?

Snakes on a Plane.

That's right. Snakes on a Plane. Starring Samuel L. Jackson. Samuel L. Jackson, who agreed to do the movie just because the title was Snakes on a Plane.

The premise? An assassin tries to kill a witness by letting a crate of snakes loose on a plane.

Snakes. On a motherfucking plane.

They recently had to shoot a few more scenes for this cinematic masterpiece.

Why, you may ask?

Because people wanted to hear Samuel L. Jackson say, in that unmistakable voice of his, "I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!"

Jackson publicly endorsed the move. "That's the only reason I took the job: I read the title," Jackson told entertainment site Collider.com. He added, "You either want to see that, or you don't."

New Line execs, concerned that it is too early to discuss the movie, declined comment. But sources now insist the studio never abandoned the "Snakes" title in the first place and that "Pacific Air" was just an internal working title.

In any event, "Snakes"-ophiles already were hard at work. Chris Rohan of Bethesda, Md., created an elaborate, R-rated audio trailer that lovingly mocks the title and movie. "It's a genius title," Rohan said. "It's so stupid it's great. It invites satire, but it's something you just love. It's something I can't explain. You either get it or you don't."

The audio bit uses a Jackson sound-alike shouting, "I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!" Soon, the growing legion of fans added their voices as they demanded that that phrase also appear in the movie.

Apparently, the studio got the hint. When Ellis assembled Jackson and others for the recent shoot, the filmmakers added more gore, more death, more nudity, more snakes and more death scenes. And they shot a scene where Jackson does utter the line that fans have demanded.

Those involved with the film said the reshoots weren't prompted by fans but rather by the existing footage that already was a hairline into R territory. Within the studio, the thinking was, "We're already going to get an R, why not go all the way?" But the filmmakers do concede that the Jackson line will be in the movie for the sake of the fans.

God loves me. That's the only possible explanation.