Today Begins the Plague of Frozen Raccoons

Seriously. Thanks to our good friend Errol, we have this bit of absurdity:

TOWN 'N COUNTRY - Hillsborough sheriff's deputies are investigating a bizarre act of criminal mischief that may also be a sickening act of animal cruelty.

It was 2 a.m. when Lynnette Brooks says she heard a crash at her front window. There, in the middle of the night, in the middle of her living room, she got the shock of her life.

"We saw the raccoon. A frozen raccoon," she recalled.

A vandal had apparently used a dead frozen raccoon as his weapon of choice. What's worse, roommate Gary Hogan said, it was one of the largest he's ever seen.

"It was about that big. About that big around," he said, holding his hands far apart.

Gary and Lynnette say the hole the frozen critter left in the screen even shows the silhouette of a raccoon -- with legs pointed skyward.

The shape of the raccoon -- with legs pointed upwards -- is visible in the screen.
"I mean, I've done some bad things, but nothing like that," Gary observed.

Wow. It's a shame Moses didn't have this one at his disposal. You wouldn't have needed ten plagues--just the one. I guess tossing a frozen raccoon at the Pharaoh would be less inspiring than parting the Sea of Reeds, though.