Monday, June 28, 2004

You Have To Have A License To Fish

But any two morons who have the barest understanding of human plumbing can have a kid.

Thanks to the Panda People over at Pandagon, we have today's insanity: a child named ESPN.

That's right.

A child (one of at least three) has been named for the all-sports cable network.

You know, I kind of like quirky names--especially when they belong to pro athletes ("Plaxico" always springs to mind). But "ESPN" isn't a goddamn name--it's an abbreviation. Do these parents realize that they have guaranteed tons of ridicule for their child? Would you want to go through elementary or (even worse) middle school with that name?

As is evidenced in the article, ESPN spokesman Dave Nagle is clearly insane. And this child's mother, I think, is going to end up regretting consenting to that name.

In the comments to that post, one person brings up an important point--twins given names that are way, way too similar.

I've know twins named Gina and Ginger, and those names, I thought at the time, were far too similar for twins.

Then I met LaQuanda and LaWanda.

These two looked nearly identical ("They're identical twins! Of course they looked alike, you freakin' idiot!" you might say. But they were almost indistinguishable--and they often dressed in matching outfits, just to further screw with everyone.), and they got pissed if anyone called them by the wrong name. I wonder if they ever got pissed at their parents.

Well, that's today's random bit of uselessness.
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