Sta Dormendo



Rest in peace, Signore Pavarotti

Sad News

Steve Gilliard has died. His singular voice and uncompromising honesty will be sorely missed.

Fond Farewells

Farewell to thee.

David Halberstam, reporter and author, died in an automobile crash yesterday out in California.

Boris Yeltsin, the first-ever elected Russian leader, also died yesterday.

Unrelatedly, Stolichnaya stock plummeted in trading today.

So It Goes

So long, Kurt Vonnegut.

You'll be sorely missed.

Why, Lord, Why?

Why does Baby Jeebus hate James Brown?

That ain't right.

Ahmet Ertegun

I meant to put something up about this yesterday, but other things took up my time.

Ahmet Ertegun, legendary record producer, died Thursday. The man founded Atlantic Records, and produced some of the greatest singles in the 20th century. He just had an ear. Ray Charles, the Drifters, Bobby Darin, Aretha Franklin, Professor Longhair, Led Zeppelin, Dr. John, the list goes on. He also partnered with Stax Records in the 1960's. And I don't need to tell you how great Stax Records' artists were.

Here are some great Ertegun-produced tracks. He even wrote "Mess Around." The track that says "Go to the Mardi Gras" is "Mardi Gras in New Orleans" by Professor Longhair. Enjoy!

RIP

Peter Boyle, 1935-2006

Peter Boyle, who never really got his due, died today. This is sad. It makes me want to smoke cigars and drink wine with Gene Hackman.

Fair Winds and Following Seas

R.I.P., Mr Bradley

Ed Bradley of CBS News has died. That's pretty damn sad.

Today's Unsurprising Yet Still Sad Headline

"Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin killed by wild animal.

Crikey.

It's a pretty improbable death, really. Stingray barb to the heart? Shit.

RIP, Dr. Neff

A hero to veterans, Dr. Leonard Neff, died recently.

He will be missed. This was a man who understood what supporting the troops really meant.

It doesn't mean putting a fucking magnet on your car. It means caring for them when they're half-insane with fear and regret years after they return from the meatgrinder. Letting them know that it's alright to hurt; it's alright to be afraid.


Thank you, Dr. Neff, for all you've done.

Way To Go, Jonnyboy!

It's good to see you back.

I don't have time for much comment on not-so-Intelligent Design today, but I would like to note two things.

1) RIP, Mrs. King.

2) There's one thing I don't get about Brokeback Mountain. It was directed by Ang Lee, who is responsible for the crime against cinema also known as The Hulk. These two products do not seem like they could have come from the same mind.

Pour Out Some Liquor

It's a dark day. Dark, indeed. One of America's finest artists has died.

Russell Jones, a.k.a. Ol' Dirty Bastard, a.k.a. Dirt Dogg, a.k.a. Unique Ason, a.k.a. Dirt McGirt, a.k.a. Big Baby Jesus, a.k.a. Osiris Cyrus, died today. He was 35. He collapsed in his studio in New York and was prounounced dead at 5:04 p.m.

You can find some of his fine, fine body of work here, here, and here.

RIP, Dirty.

Good News Roundup

Red Sox trounce Angels;

Twins edge Yankees;

Edwards beats Cheney.

Woo hoo!

However, our good news is tempered a bit by the passing of comic genius Rodney Dangerfield.

Sorry it's not all good news, folks.

As a gesture of respect (tee hee), we present a few of Rodney's one-liners for you here:

I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.

I tell you, with my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills." He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back!

When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.

With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.

What a dog I got. His favorite bone is in my arm!

Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog." He told me to get off his couch.

I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I'd get.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!

One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much.
Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab.

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through."

I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!

My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

One year they wanted to make me poster boy... for birth control.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There are so many places they can hide."

I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor. They sent a priest up to talk to me. He said, "On your mark..."

When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.

I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in a library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face.

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax!

I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.

One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.

I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!

My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.

I knew a girl so ugly, the last time I saw a mouth like hers it had a hook on the end of it.

I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint--a Saint Bernard!

I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, "What'll you have?" I said, "Surprise me." He showed me a naked picture of my wife.

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy...why are you doing that for?" He said, "Because you came home early."

I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me? He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown necktie.

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him, "If you don't mind, I'd like a second opinion." He said, "All right. You're ugly too!"

I was so ugly, my mother used to feed me with a slingshot!

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"

And we were poor too. Why, if I wasn't born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with!

Thank you and goodnight!

Vaya con Dios, Sra. Child

Julia Child, de-mystifier of haute cuisine, bonne vivante, and America's premier chef, has died.

Adieu, Julia.

You can read about Julia Child here, and find some of her recipes here.

American cuisine is poorer for having lost her.