In the Event of a Hurricane

Hop on board the SS Newt "Fuckface" Gingrich.

I found this bullshit over at First Draft. Fucking Newt Gingrich--he's another one of those conservative zombies that just won't die. No matter how discredited he is, now matter how many of his public hypocrisies are exposed, he just keeps coming back. But this is just too much.

At the Nuremberg Rally CPAC conference last week, Gingrich had the following to say about the gigantic fuck-up that was Hurricane Katrina:

How can you have the mess we have in New Orleans, and not have had deep investigations of the federal government, the state government, the city government, and the failure of citizenship in the Ninth Ward, where 22,000 people were so uneducated and so unprepared, they literally couldn't get out of the way of a hurricane. (emphasis original)

That's right. Poverty, pork, flawed levee designs, FEMA fuckups and the like are now failures of citizenship. Sweet fucking Christ.

I say we use Newt as a floatation device the next time some of our fellow Americans need it. We wouldn't want Gingrich to fail in his duties as a citizen, would we?

Note that he didn't talk about the "failure of citizenship" of the more affluent, educated residents of Gentilly or Lakeview, which were also inundated. Nor did he talk about the "failure of citizenship" of all the white Republicans along the Mississippi Gulf Coast, who were "so uneducated and unprepared, they literally couldn't get out of the way of a hurricane."

Jesus. At least he wasn't as bad as Ann Coulter. Is there anything these people can say that will cause them to lose their well-paid pundit gigs?

Anyway, since I know you've been sleeping too well at night, take a look at this:

I eat fetuses.

That should haunt you for a while.