The Onion Sports

I started thinking about this post and really just wanted to talk about Ricky Williams. In case you're out of the loop, poor ol' Ricky tested positive for a banned substance and was suspended from the NFL for an entire season, but gets to play for the Argonauts in the Canadian Football League this year. Good for him.

Of course, I love Ricky (though I'm not sure why) and draft him every year in our fantasy football league. Jude and everyone else teases me. But it's somewhat of a tradition and, if allowed, I'll draft Ricky again this year. What can I say, he's my good luck charm.

But when I went to snag that article from the onion I realized all the sports articles are awesome. I've always thought of Sam Cassell as E.T. and the Onion agrees. Danica Patrick is only popular because she's so unbelieveably hot. And Tom Emanski is hilarious. Once I was in an elevator and someone mentioned Tom Emanski in jest, and half a dozen men in the elevator said in unison "Back to Back to Back AAU National Titles." The women in the elevator were paralyzed in fear, thinking that the borg had suddenly reprogrammed all of us simultaneously. Finally, I hate to be racist, but is this funnier because Matsui is foreign? Or is it because he just moves like a horse? Or maybe because I'm a default Sox fan and I hate him? Oh go ahead and shoot me too.