Through the Looking Glass
Seems that things are beyond surreal, even considering that this is an election year.
The President was in North Carolina yesterday, on a trip funded by you & me so that he can raise more money for the upcoming election. (All questions about how much money he could possibly need should be addressed to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, D.C. 20500. Then wait for the large men to come take you away, you enemy combatant, you.)
Well, this fancy luncheon (Sorry, the site requires registration and logging in, but, hey--it's free!) cost $2,000 per plate. I know. Two Grand. Must be the addition of "eon" at the end of "lunch" that makes it that expensive. I don't make that in a month, and these people drop it on lunch? Not a bad menu, either:
"Seered [sic] beef tenderloins [sic] with golden tomatoes on an herb-encrusted baguette. Grilled garlic chicken with smoked gouda on a honey wheat wrap. Fruits and gourmet olives and crudite."
Tasty, no? One problem, though. No one could eat. You see, there was no silverware next to any of these fine, expensive meals. None. So these people who just paid two thousand bucks had to sit and watch their tenderloin get cold and nasty. Why, you might ask, did no one think to put silverware out at such a fancy to-do? Well, someone did think. But they consciously decided not to give the guests eating utensils. Read on:
"The explanation was at the bottom of the menus distributed at President Bush's $1.5 million Charlotte fund-raiser Monday.
'At the request of the White House, silverware will not accompany the table settings,' it said in discreetly fine print."
That's right. The White House specifically requested that no one be allowed to eat with anything but their poi spoons (that's fingers, to those of you who've never been to Hawaii).
And why, you might ask, did the Bush people not want any silverware distributed? Did someone receive some hot intel saying that al-Qaida terrorists were going to attempt to assassinate the President with salad forks, and that, to boot, these sophisticated bastards knew the exact number of tines needed to cause maximum damage?
Nope. Much more prosaic than that.
"The reason: So the tinkle of silver wouldn't disrupt the president's speech."
I'm glad that tough, straight-talking cowboy is in charge, aren't you? I mean, that's the sort of leadership we need in tough times.
Seriously. Tinkling silverware is enough to put this guy off? And people think he's a macho man? Jeez.
Seems that things are beyond surreal, even considering that this is an election year.
The President was in North Carolina yesterday, on a trip funded by you & me so that he can raise more money for the upcoming election. (All questions about how much money he could possibly need should be addressed to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, D.C. 20500. Then wait for the large men to come take you away, you enemy combatant, you.)
Well, this fancy luncheon (Sorry, the site requires registration and logging in, but, hey--it's free!) cost $2,000 per plate. I know. Two Grand. Must be the addition of "eon" at the end of "lunch" that makes it that expensive. I don't make that in a month, and these people drop it on lunch? Not a bad menu, either:
"Seered [sic] beef tenderloins [sic] with golden tomatoes on an herb-encrusted baguette. Grilled garlic chicken with smoked gouda on a honey wheat wrap. Fruits and gourmet olives and crudite."
Tasty, no? One problem, though. No one could eat. You see, there was no silverware next to any of these fine, expensive meals. None. So these people who just paid two thousand bucks had to sit and watch their tenderloin get cold and nasty. Why, you might ask, did no one think to put silverware out at such a fancy to-do? Well, someone did think. But they consciously decided not to give the guests eating utensils. Read on:
"The explanation was at the bottom of the menus distributed at President Bush's $1.5 million Charlotte fund-raiser Monday.
'At the request of the White House, silverware will not accompany the table settings,' it said in discreetly fine print."
That's right. The White House specifically requested that no one be allowed to eat with anything but their poi spoons (that's fingers, to those of you who've never been to Hawaii).
And why, you might ask, did the Bush people not want any silverware distributed? Did someone receive some hot intel saying that al-Qaida terrorists were going to attempt to assassinate the President with salad forks, and that, to boot, these sophisticated bastards knew the exact number of tines needed to cause maximum damage?
Nope. Much more prosaic than that.
"The reason: So the tinkle of silver wouldn't disrupt the president's speech."
I'm glad that tough, straight-talking cowboy is in charge, aren't you? I mean, that's the sort of leadership we need in tough times.
Seriously. Tinkling silverware is enough to put this guy off? And people think he's a macho man? Jeez.
posted by Jude at 2:58 PM
