So It's Been A While

Here's a monkey giving a cat CPR. Why? Just because.

Hey hey, loyal readers. Sorry I've been away for a while. But I should have more time for this blogging silliness now. In fact, check out this grim shit:

HOUSTON — The cha-chick of a shell entering a shotgun's chamber rattled through the 911 line just before Joe Horn stepped out his front door.

Horn, 61, had phoned police when he saw two men break into his neighbor's suburban Houston home through a window in broad daylight. Now they were getting away with a bag of loot.

"Don't go outside the house," the 911 operator pleaded. "You're going to get yourself shot if you go outside that house with a gun. I don't care what you think."

"You want to make a bet?" Horn answered. "I'm going to kill them."

He did.

Admirers, including several of his neighbors, say Horn is a hero for killing the burglars, protecting his neighborhood and sending a message to would-be criminals. Critics call him a loose cannon. His attorney says Horn just feared for his life.

Prosecuting Horn could prove difficult in Texas, where few people sympathize with criminals and many have an almost religious belief in the right to self-defense. The case could test the state's self-defense laws, which allow people to use deadly force in certain situations to protect themselves, their property and their neighbors' property.

Horn was home in Pasadena, about 15 miles southeast of Houston, on Nov. 14 when he heard glass breaking, said his attorney, Tom Lambright. He looked out the window and saw 38-year-old Miguel Antonio DeJesus and 30-year-old Diego Ortiz using a crowbar to break out the rest of the glass.

He grabbed a 12-gauge shotgun and called 911, Lambright said.

"Uh, I've got a shotgun," he told the dispatcher. "Uh, do you want me to stop them?"

"Nope, don't do that," the dispatcher responded. "Ain't no property worth shooting somebody over, OK?"

Horn and the dispatcher spoke for several minutes, during which Horn pleaded with the dispatcher to send someone to catch the men and vowed not to let them escape. Over and over, the dispatcher told him to stay inside. Horn repeatedly said he couldn't.

When the men crawled back out the window carrying a bag, Horn began to sound increasingly frantic.

"Well, here it goes, buddy," Horn said as a shell clicked into the chamber. "You hear the shotgun clicking and I'm going."

Lambright said Horn had intended to take a look around when he left his house and instead came face to face with the burglars, standing 10 to 12 feet from him in his yard.

Horn would have been no match in a physical confrontation with the two strong young men, Lambright said. So when one or both of them "made lunging movements," Horn fired in self-defense, he said.

I'm never moving to Texas. It's okay to shoot someone you see robbing the house across the street? Fuck that nonsense. Let's get this straight--he called 911, they told him not to confront the two burglars. He did anyway, vowing to kill them. Isn't that first-degree murder?

Yeah, yeah, the two dudes shouldn't have been robbing the house, but that in no way excuses murdering them. Wait for the cops to show up, give them a description, and forget about it. This sick bastard values a bag of his neighbor's property more than the lives of two other humans.

His lawyer is calling the shootings "self-defense." He walked out of his house to confront and, by his own admission, murder two men who posed no threat to him. That ain't self-defense. Not even in Texas.