Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Why did I miss this movie?

The Onion AV Club turns out another fun list: Inventory: Stop That Vehicle! 20 Misbegotten Movies Custom-Made For The Utterly Unworthy. Unfortunately, this one seems a bit contrived, consisting mainly of movies starring music stars. But I wish I had seen this one:

20. Gymkata (1985): Kurt Thomas

In the mid-'80s, gymnastics enjoyed unprecedented American popularity, thanks to the U.S. team's performance in the 1984 Olympics. That popularity translated, as such things often do, into terrible, terrible movies like Gymkata. Real-world Olympics hero Kurt Thomas wanders through an Asian hellhole performing, yes, gymkata. What's gymkata? Let's go to the tagline: "The skill of gymnastics. The kill of karate." What they fail to mention: the lameness of a hastily made-up martial art in a movie that at one point has Thomas fending off enemies in a town with a freaking pommel horse in the middle of it.
What a winner.