Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Word of the Day

This isn't going to be a feature every day, but, on occasion, we'll bring you a Word of the Day.

Today's word is: Milquetoast n. One who has a weak, timid, unassertive nature.

As in, I almost puked up my fuckin' milk and toast when I saw Virginia Governor Tim Kaine, milquetoast extraordinaire, give the Democratic response to Chimpy's bullshit State of the Union Address last night.

I guess that's what I get for having milk and toast for dinner.

And what was with that fuckin' Mr. Spock eyebrow of his? Jesus.

A better response would have been something like this:

"My fellow Americans: What the fuck was that horseshit you just heard? Can you believe this douchebag? First: Stop pissing on Coretta Scott King's grave. C'mon--the GOP hates everything she ever stood for--social justice, racial equality, alleviation of poverty--you name it, she stood for it, the Republicans hate it.

"Second: The word 'history' has three syllables, you moron. If you get a college degree in something, you should be able to pronounce the name of your degree field. I'd walk out of the place if some CEO told me he got a degree in 'bidness.'

"Third: Anybody whose party and minions call Jack Murtha a coward better not ever fucking lecture me about having a 'spirit of good will.' Period. End of fucking story.

"Fourth: When you talk about history, in addition to pronouncing the word correctly, don't insult our intelligence. So in 1945 there were only 'two dozen lonely democracies,' huh? Maybe that's because those two dozen countries (plus a few others) divided up the world into their colonies, and then kept those territories from self-rule, you asshole. You know, like India, which is currently the world's largest democracy? It was a British colony in 1945, you see. And, though Britain was (sort of) a democracy at the time, they didn't extend that to any of their colonies. Dipshit.

"Fifth: Just ignore everything Bush said. He's as full of shit as a Christmas turkey. Or holiday turkey, if you wanna piss off Bill O'Reilly, which is fun and easy to do. You guys know things are fucked up: Good jobs disappearing, you can't afford medical bills, you're worried about retiring, and your kids are driving you fuckin' nuts. You want to address these problems? Vote for Democrats. You want some man-child to give you bromides about freedom while cutting taxes permanently on those who have the most (both in terms of money and obligation to the system that allowed them to achieve such prosperity), invading your privacy, and peeing his pants about 'terra'? Keep voting for Republicans. I know Bush only has the rest of this term, but they'll find someone just as awful to replace him, probably someone handpicked by that odious fuck James Dobson.

"Those are the choices, America. Us or them. Right or wrong. Truth or lies. You know what to do."
That would be a hell of a speech.

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