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In case you weren't watching, the Puerto Rican ballers handed the Americans their collective ass in roundball the other day. It was one of the most awful games I've ever seen. And I've seen a lot of basketball games--this game was even worse than any of the matches I played in--and I'm a terrible, terrible player.

The US "Dream Team" shot a mere 35% from the floor, missed eleven free throws, and went a piss-poor 3-for-25 from three-point range (and, in international play, the 3-point line is closer to the basket than it is in the NBA).

In their defense, the US "team" isn't a team at all--they have almost no experience playing together or under international B-ball rules. And they're a pretty young bunch of guys, too.

But still.

For a really great prediction of what's going to happen to the US men's basketball team in the rest of their games at the Olympics, look no further than ESPN's Page 2.

Here's a small sample:

August 17: U.S. vs. Greece
After the dismal performance against Puerto Rico, the U.S. scouts and coaches spend hours breaking down film for their next game against host-country Greece. Only at game time does Brown realize that the film they were watching was actually "Grease," staring John Travolta and Oliva Newton-John.

The game plan of double-teaming Kenickie and denying Danny Zuko the post is quickly abandoned. Bizarrely, Brown still tells the team to watch out for Rizzo on the perimeter.

The U.S. loses to Greece 93-58 while shooting 31 percent from the floor. Afterwards, Stephon Marbury, who was just 1 for 10, tells the press, "You know, the fact is I'm just not as good as everyone believes. Think about it: the Timberwolves finally win a playoff series -- after I'm gone. The Nets make it to two straight NBA Finals -- after I leave. Expect the Suns to be much improved this season. As for the Knicks, well, let's just say Spike Lee better not be expecting us to knock off the Pistons."

It's a good read. Check it out.