Pralines

God damn, how I love pralines.

And that's pronounced "Prah-leenz." NEVER "Pray-leens." Never ever. Trust me on that one, mes amis.

Like I said, I love 'em. Delicious, sugary goodness.

I live in Wisconsin. Ergo, if I want pralines, I gotta make 'em myself. You wanna know how? It's easy enough.

Jude's Ass-Kicking Pecan Pralines

Pots and shit:

• One good, heavy, 2-quart or larger saucepan
• Wooden spoon
• Candy thermometer (not a necessity, but it makes the process much simpler)
• Wax paper
  

Ingredients

• 1 cup dark brown sugar
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 cup evaporated milk
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 1/2 cup pecan halves
• pinch salt
  

Combine the two types of sugar, salt, and the evaporated milk in your saucepan. Cook over medium-low heat, stirring constantly, until the mixture reaches the soft ball stage--about 238 °F. For the love of god, do not overcook the sugar. It's not that expensive to replace, but you'll have to bear a burden of shame that's just unthinkable.

Remove that shit from the heat, and keep stirring. Add the butter, vanilla, and pecans, and stir for about two minutes. Make sure the butter gets completely incorporated into the mixture.

Now drop tablespoonsful onto the wax paper, and let cool a couple of hours.

That's it. And you've got yourself the best goddamned dessert I know of. If you're feeling really adventurous, throw in some bourbon with the vanilla, butter, and pecans. It tastes good, cher.